The French are strange. Their way with the English language is like a less extreme Japanese, in that it is mysterious and likeable. And despite popular stereotypes, I've never met a French twat yet. Sure, they got demonised for setting fire to some sheep - who frankly deserved nothing less - but that was the farmers, and I wouldn't trust an English farmer with my skiddy knickers, so no loss of kudos as a nation there.

The reason I'm liking the French at you is because I made a French friend today. We met on top of a building; I was taking advantage of the fact that you can sit cross-legged and just rotate, he was asking if anyone knew anything. I said no, I'm just spinning around on my ass, and he talked to me.

I have decided that ass is better in this game. I'm usually an arse man (you ask our Doreen), but I don't want to appear too transparently English, so I'm avoiding all the words that I've seen used by English people in American sitcoms. Namely, arse, fortnight, and splendid.

The first thing that my French friend does is to say "I know good shop". So I follow him to a shop, and we stand by the dispensing terminals together. He actually buys me the red sleeves that you saw in Level Three. Then he invites me hunting with him. I giggle, and accept.

I've seen as many falling-in-love musical clip-scenes in romantic comedies as you have. And, if you take out my regrettable attempts at typing in French, that's what you've got here. Shopping scene / Trying on new red sleeves / Us laughing as my unruly anger manifestation runs off after an Leet* / Standing by the river, asking each other our swimming stats / Joining a team and sharing the experience gained from killing something helpless / Him putting his finger to my mouth as I say something else that makes no sense, so giddy am I from my exhilirating date.

It was a perfect day out.

Then, I got bored, and wanted to talk to someone else. Someone who could talk English, for Christ's sake.

* By this stage, I am fighting the more powerful Eleets, which makes me think that they only had Leets in the first place to set up this joke. A bit like me inventing a creature called the Silious, then pretending to be a huge Silious, hopping around and bellowing "I'M A RUDDY GREAT SILIOUS WITH X-RAY VISION AND LASER LIPS", and when someone asks me if I was truly trying to be this huge version of the creature, I would say "No, I'm being SuperSilious". Yeah, the joke's kinda there, but I cheated - anyone can do that.

Progress report : I can now use the "Anger Manifestation", which is like the "Inferior Anger Manifestation" and "Lesser Anger Manifestation", except it doesn't die so quickly. I wish I hadn't chosen a character who was so angry. I just want to have fun. Where are the 24 Hour Missy Elliot Party People in this town?