I am quite excited after today's session. Don't judge me too harshly.

Missions generally take place behind doors. Behind these doors are very limited "dungeons" (meaning, I think, any self-contained area outside of the main world where monsters and treasure chests are found). You can run out of the mission at any time to recuperate, so these doors generally have a couple of people sitting cross-legged outside of them. So it doesn't seem to forward to say "how's your mission going?" while you're sitting there waiting for your hit points to come back.

However, today, something new happened. As I sat outside, I was approached by a fellow meta-physicist who offered to show me the ropes. I accepted, as he had a way with words and didn't seem confused by my inability to stick to the matter in hand. Before I knew it, he'd given me better weapons, money, and was teaching my how to use implants.

Now, I should remind you that I am a big fat bloke running around the game in a bra and skirt. It's easy enough to forget. But to my new friend, it reeked of the obvious - here is a screaming queer. The conversation became enjoyably flirty; he mentioned that he enjoyed Graham Norton; I mentioned that I enjoy looking at penises through smoky glass. We went shopping together; he bought me an overcoat.

Relationships are accelerated around seven hundred fold, then. No sooner had he seen me and chatted me up, he was trying to change me. The very thing that had drawn him to me was suddently embarrassing. He wanted to make a warrior of his pet go-go slut. Needless to say, I was hopelessly flattered.

He told me he was coming to London in July. I decided to go on a diet. In real life.

Progress report : I keep doing missions. Solo missions, because I can't bring myself to run up to a group and say "can we go on a mission please?" I realise that it's supposed to be more fun, but the memory of lining up for football teams is too strong.