[back to doctor deacon]
I AIN'T GOING IN NO WHEELCHAIR,
AND DON'T GIVE ME NO JIBBER-JABBER, YOU CRAZY FOOL TYPE PERSON
Yessir. It's harder to win when you play by the rules.

But Joey didn't. He had a magnetised dartboard, and he used special small pennies on the shove ha'penny table. His car had spikes on the wheels, like the bad car in the "Grease" where the winner got the pink slip to wear.
 
He was never without itching powder - but when a spasm caused him to pour it all over himself, his scratching caused one arm to power his wheelchair in such a frantic circle that he started a whirlwind, and launched a pregnant cow to the moon!

The cow remains there to this day - looked after by a benevolent Mooncat, who returned to the Moon when his terrestrial TV career faded. Her children have evolved fangs.

Steve Middleton churns it up.