[up up up up up]
 

THIS REALLY
IS BLOODY
HARDCORE
actually

STARRING 
Coral, the filthy chip shop girl 
Sandy Cups, the pug-ugly philanthropist 
Duncan and Pauline, and their power imbalance 
& INTRODUCING 
Jeremy, the masochistic sales assistant
 
WITH YOUR ABLE HOST 
A 60's DOLLY BIRD ON A ROCK 
Welcome to my wonderful free world of pornography. I would like to take this opportunity to say that by scrolling down you will be subjected to six breasts and a penis. However, even though I'm standing on a rock, these photos won't give you rock, and you won't come like the waterfall in front of which I am standing, here on my rock. Especially not since these photographs were deemed by my hosting company to be "too rude for the internet", and I have had to obscure their plainly unarousing sex parts in case a child saw it and thought OH JESUS CHRIST A BREAST I MEAN GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RIGHT THAT'S IT I'M RAPING EVERYTHING FROM NOW ON JESUS CHRIST PISS

So - if you don't wan't six obscured breasts and a blacked out penis, click here
 
I Am Sandy Cups.   
I am very ugly. I have a face like a bulldog licking piss off the back end of a bag of spanners, me. Luckily, my work in the sweatshop keeps me out of the public eye. I make tiny little stockings for underprivileged bees who, whether through neglect or abuse, have lost the hairs on their legs.  

I am also trying to establish a foundation for the support and counselling of bereaved locusts. A recent survey showed the the lowest proportion of public tax pounds are spent on the rehabilitation of locusts, and I think that this is very wrong.
 
Scenes Of The Sub/Dom  
You've been very bad. You've been in my hob-nobs again, haven't you?  
No, sir. I don't like hob-nobs. I prefer plainer biscuits, such as the Rich Tea.  
You are ashamed. Good. But you must be punished. Get on your knees.  
I am already on my knees.  
Well don't get up then.  
I want to go to the toilet.  
Onesies or twosies?  
Both. Is that threesies?  
No. You always let out a little bit of wee when you poo, so by allowing functional addition you would be rendering twosies obsolete.  
Master, you are very wise.  
That is why I are the master.  
 
 
Hello. My name is Coral.   
You may recognise me. I'm the woman from the local chip shop... by day. But when the fryers are turned off, I whop out my tits and dance around the front room in front of my husband. And when he cops a load of my pineapple fritters, you can be sure his sausage gets battered! When I pukka up, he knows he's in for a bit of hairy pie!   

Sometimes, when I'm on the rag, I pop a fish cake up my gash. I pretend my menses are tomato sauce, and make Brian eat it out. There's no chip shop pun there, I was just saying. It's true.
     
Slap Me, Fatty! 
Man, that feel good! Slap my ass! Hey, that hurt so good I'm gonna cum in mah pants. Even though I'm not wearing any. 

Hello. My name is Jeremy. I work as a sales assistant in a large chain of wine stores. It's menial work, but it keeps the Woelfelin from the door! A ha. That was a wine shop joke. We have a laugh, we really do. 

Bat mah ass, bat mah ass 'til it turn purple, you crazy horse. Ooh, now you gone made me hard. Now whatchoo gon do 'bout that?