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phil's story Phil talks in black, I am in blue, and our mutual friend the lovely Dan presides in purple. Phil's website can be see at this address; philglanville.com. tell the story tell the story ok here's the story but then I must do some work well here's the tale I used to drive into my department every morning, and you absolutely had to get there before 9am if you wanted a parking spot so one morning I was desperate for a crap, but it was 8.45... I figured I could hold it until I got into the department and let fly there the anticipation so, there I am - and I am absolutely busting mind you - driving to the department crossing my legs and thinking "fuck, maybe I've made a mistake" get to the department and there are no parking spaces... I have to drive around suburbia looking for a spot find one, and I'm in agony... absolute agony... so I park the car and I rush to the department i'm really laughing here You know this story, Dan? I get half way up the ramp to the front entrance and think "I'll just let this leeeetle fart out" FOOL! I couldn't help it more more tell the rest so the tiniest turd emerges from my bum and I think "oh, shit" (literally) i know this story there's a little bit of poo in my pants... phil has told everyone Was it firm? so I have to go home to change, obviously... can't be going around with a poo stain on your underwear to be honest it was little more than the turtle's head I probably could have gotten away with it jesus... drumroll please anyway... I get back to the car and start heading back home to change my kex and by now I am in severe pain... cramps and everything so I'm sitting in a queue of traffic at some traffic lights and I think to myself You're not going to tell me you did it on purpose You hideous man "hang on, you've already got shit in your pants... you have to change anyway... what's holding you back?" You rotten creature I tell you, it was orgasmic... I would have loved to have been in the car next to me in the traffic to see the look on my face this is so funny unfortunately, from the way I was sitting fuck... there's more? all the shit came out my arse and kind of bundled up around my scrote and the tops of my legs nooooo and it got cold very quickly rank as fuck then I had to dash from the car into the house with a huge turd in my pants i'm crying here i am going to print this out and show my mate by now I was thinking that the relief at the traffic lights wasn't worth it... that I had completely underestimated the level of ick that I was suffering so I get to the bathroom and fortunately noone else in the house is up yet, and when I pull my pants down the sight and smell of it made me gag... I mean it was horrific ive not laughed this much for years,,, probaby not since you first told me this and the story ends with me taking a long shower to wash the poo from my parts and being thankful that it was garbage day - the undies were unceremoniously cast into the bin and never heard of again You should have kept them. Trophy kecks. in a sealed box glass believe me, they were not really worth keeping Framed. Glass pressed against them. not even a hermetically sealed box would have contained their awesome power that wud be cool on ur living room wall the thing that I didn't realise is that - of course - when I pooed in my pants, I pissed myself too With this story printed underneath Fuck - it's not over Carry on thats a new twist i dont remember so as well as all the squish shit all round my balls I had piss stains all over my jeans lovely You always do a little bit of onesies with the motherload, I suppose so... that is my story again again Did you ever think "I have become less than human"? these days I make sure to go before leaving the house or meet with phil at philglanville.com |