Evolution's Gaffes No 1
THE HORRIFIED monkey
The gestation period of the Horrified Monkey is
less than a second; no sooner has the male withdrawn from the female,
a baby hoofs it right out of the womb. The very first sight that
welcomes a Horrified Monkey into the world is it's own father's
cum face.
While they are eating their dinner, Horrified Monkeys
often accidentally change channels to a programme about plastic
surgery, and have to put their fork slowly back on the plate as
they see a fat woman's face getting sliced off.
Sadly, these animals emit a confusing pheromone,
which causes elderly female relatives to drop to their backs, and
roughly slide a dated finger into their frigpits. These poor pensioners
are as horrified by their own actions as their grandchildren are
to see it.
When Horrified Monkeys developed the power of speech,
the very first thing they said was "my Lord", followed
quickly by "oh, fuck that".
|