ACTS OF HUMAN PERVERSION no. 1
Stealth BobscoffinG

Over 13% of humans delight in the consensual smothering of their faces and tongues in waste matter. An unlucky fraction of this percentage are so stankingly poor-looking that they cannot find other people willing to crimp one off into their sick-minded faces.

These people are reduced to running around the streets, pretending to be a public commode. They hide under their plank and hang around outside pubs at closing time, waiting for the first of the beer shits to slide into their mouths. Sometimes, they become so aroused that they stick their head through the hole and bite handfuls of gunk, hair and semi-digested bar snacks from the soon-to-be-not-oblivious anus.

The owners of these anuses will usually be horrified that they have just done bumshonk onto a man who, against all logic, appears to be licking his lips and winking.