http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress If Only I Updated More Often, This Might Not Be Shit Mon, 12 May 2008 10:17:27 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en ...of how my trousers fell down and I laughed. If you're thinking "that's all very well, but's I very much doubt if it's something The Guardian would print in their Comments & Debate section" - if that's what you're thinking - then I can see your point. But you'd be ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/309 Synthetic Opinion is my attempt to weave a strong opinion out of something I know nothing about. This one was suggested by Rob, who writes the excellent Internets Dairy. He asked: "Log, do you think the Large Hadron Collider MUST BE STOPPED in case a tiny black hole swallows the ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/302 I believe in fate. I believe that the universe bends itself around me, because I am important. Nothing is trivial, once it has been perceived by me - when I clap eyes on something, it becomes a part of my destiny, because I am... well, I'm an intergalactic nexus. So, when ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/304 I promised to write a 700-word opinion piece on any shit you care to suggest. The only rule is that I can't research a single thing. The first suggestion came in from Adam... "What about that hot button topic for 2008 - the US Presidential election?" No sooner said than done, Adam! ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/299 A few weeks ago, I wrote 700 words for the Guardian. It was a glorious exercise in public self-castration, in which I exposed myself as the ill-informed prickwit that I quite frankly am. Since then, I've written a piece about how much I love progress bars, which I hope ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/298 Here's how to enjoy St David's Day - first go out with a Welshman, then go to the pub. http://www.disappointment.com/welsh There's a 12-page booklet in there. It's a pdf, if you fucking please. Also some photos, which you won't be interested in unless you're a mate. Which, I admit, is probably all ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/295 Whenever I have an opinion, I tend to find it pretty embarrassing. Being wrong's humiliating enough, but when you're wrong about something you were dumb enough to frankly care about, it's like pressing a heart-shaped cookie-cutter against your chest and making a noisy display of ripping yourself slightly open. I've done ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/293 When someone decides to tell you their dreams, it's usually a sign that you've got a minute of listening to someone trying to offer you massive clumsy insights into their precious, hidden psyche. "I dreamed I was falling down a pit, do you think that means I am not keen ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/286 I just found out that Bette Davis and Joan Crawford didn't like each other very much. Although this is sad, I suppose there're a number of good reasons for the two to have their differences. For starters, Bette Davis had big wet eyes, and Joan Crawford had a ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/269 Couple years ago... I'm sorry, I'll start again. A couple of years ago, I farted seven times in two minutes in a toilet cubicle, and had to spend many more minutes trying to meditate myself out of a frankly childish giggle fit. I've never done anything like that since. It's not ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/276 There's nothing more satisfying than forming a relationship with a salesman. It's like rubbing yourself off against a human transaction. Because I've done most things that are thrilling and sexually enticing, I spend nine days in advertising, during which I came up with most of the slogans you'll have heard ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/273 Hi there. I'm a film star now, after sporting my ultra-modern beard in this internet video. I didn't have that much to do with it, apart from reading stuff out and that, but anyway, it's me, and I'm blogging it. VideoJug: How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse Nyah, He-Man, you broke my ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/268 After a completely fabricated report from The People that Ian Huntley was on Facebook, the human race reacted with the revulsion you'd expect. Luckily, Facebook provides all of its users with immensely powerful tools for changing the world to exactly how it should be, without any noticeable delay. Here's ten posts ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/264 Hello! Here is my happy story about bicycles, dwarves, and Richard Archer from Hard-Fi. It's in three chapters! CHAPTER ONE BICYCLES I have bought a bicycle. Having a bicycle is brilliant, even if you can't just put your legs in the air and go forward by yelping enthusiastically. It's exercise, it's saving me ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/261 Hi there, Jennifans! As you all know, my life is amazing, and I have three bags full of crazy fun with every mouthful. However, that's not to say that my daily life isn't an agonizing catalogue of loss and regret. It's because I love so much, and so intensely - ... http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/archives/255