Synthetic Opinions - To Do

  1. That hot button topic for 2008 - the US Presidential election? - DONE
  2. How’s about a piece entitled “What I would do about the muslims if I were Prime Minister”. - Adam

    With a title like THAT, everyone would read it, even if the contents are simply “invite them round to tea, one by one, and possibly get out a packet of bourbons if they’re feeling peckish”.

  3. Log, do you think the Large Hadron Collider MUST BE STOPPED in case a tiny black hole swallows the Earth? (Remember the set of things on the Earth includes Robert Mugabe and cancer, so it is not as simple a question as it first looks.) - Rob Adey
  4. 700 words on talking dirty in the bedroom, please. i’ve an article due monday, i’ll simply translate yours and pass it off as my own work. everyone wins, right? - Rosie
  5. Please investigate how a well-paid consultant can say in his report that something will cost £1000 to install to facilitate his cost-saving bollocks, when I have costed it at around £100,000. There may be a discount involved. Who will get the saving? - Snackyox
  6. How about an article on fat people? They’re such a drain on society, it makes me sick (brown sick from my bum, the least palatable kind). - David Bonus
  7. I’d be interested to know how you feel about the ongoing power struggle in Ukraine over the past few years - with the theme that precisely the same people who were deposed in the Orange Revolution are now the ones in power, in cahoots with the ones who replaced them.

    I think I only want to read about this because ‘cahoots’ is such a great word, and if when writing the headline you could draw on the fact tha Yulia Timoshenko looks like Princess Leia then I might even read it. - Boris Van Sant

  8. 700 words on the positive side of child sex abuse, please. - SickONut
  9. You’re fine with your work being plagiarised, eh? Then how about we up the ante a teensy bit. 12000 words on the use of the prisoner’s dilemma as a tool to simulate evolution, please. And by next Wednesday. - Archy Bold
  10. Can you write 700 words on the subject of “things that are sluiced” without hesitating deviating or repeating? -Tyler
  11. What I really want to see is a 700 word essay on the freaky baby with two faces. - Colin
  12. How about a 700-word op-ed on why Francis Gilbert should be Gordon Brown’s new Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families? - Jake
  13. Can you write something about this wonderful flying, dead “balloon priest” please? I bet you can. - Smiffy
  14. I’m sorry I missed the cutoff. An even 700 about the intensifying crackdown on bestiality would have been of some interest - if there were only some way to tie it to the “I’d Do Anything” search for the next Noncy. (I got ‘Consulting Mo’ in the reCaptcha thing…. now they consult as well? That’s progress.) - Bakikebab