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The Evil Sound Of Music

And with a recent burst of re-interest in this particular section, I have had to redesign this section somewhat, just to accomodate the rather excellent "Supercali....etc" song from Craig. If this is your first time, this is where we take a lovely little ditty and pepper it with potty language. Read, see, consider, and leave a happier Parson.
 
Fergal Halligan's Big 99
BIG MECHANICAL COCK
to the tune of "Material Girl", by Madonna
When you put that thing on,
and my piss rash starts to ache,
only you could bring that sting on,
with your rubber snake.
Some girls come and some girls go,
- not many wear a dick (that's right)
but you just make me your cheap ho'
with your bionic di-ick.

'cos you are wearing a big mechanical cock,
and wearing that mechanical frock,
don't you know
that while you're wearing that big mechanical cock,
I die of a mechanical shock

(wear-ing a big mechanical cock)
(ow ow - mechanica-al)
(wear-ing a big mechanical cock)
(wear-ing a big mechanical cock)

 My mother thought it was rude,
and my dad had a heart attack - (alright)
because they dropped 'round for some food,
and found us smoking crack.
Not just that but your seed planter
lodged in their son's bot,
it was hard to keep up banter
while you turned it o-off,

'cos you are wearing a big mechanical cock,
and giving me mechanical socks,
don't you know
I love you wearing that big mechanical cock,
and slapping my mechanical rocks

(slapp-ing my big mechanical rocks)
(slapp-ing my big mechanical rocks)
(mechanica-al)
(slapp-ing my big mechanical rocks)

 
 

My Favourite Things

Bumflakes and arseflaps and fat crippled kittens,
Unhappy boychild whose cock has been bitten,
Death's head butterflies and hot spider's eggs,
These are the things that do make me erect...
Jars full of darkies all pickled in brine,
Unwanted puppies in bags in the Tyne,
Aborted children and burning car wrecks,
These are the things that do harden my sex...
Over to you,  Mr Nick Turner. Nick Turner is a bisexual who claims to have found love. As if anyone other than a God-fearing protestant knows the MEANING of the word......
Arses of bulldogs nibbled by the smitten,
Shoved up the cock of a flightless white bittern,
Hoping his master will buy him some porn,
These are the things which do give me the horn...
And now, the verses as submitted by the honking fat Fergal Halligan. Although I can rarely be arsed to organise myself enough to email the man, he is one of the reasons this website kept growing before Joey Deacon. 
Piss be-drenched jockstraps and shot-glasses of spit,
Football supporters with panties full of shit,
Internal organs and basins of sick,
These are the things that do stiffen my dick....
And single handedly, Fergal took this song to its logical conclusion. In this fasharn.....
Dog-felching catholic bishops with scabies,
Dinner engagements with people with rabies,
Tearing my anus with lengths of iron fence,
This is what makes my erection intense....
Incestuous thoughts about your younger brother,
Forcing a white shark to fellate your mother,
Filing your fingers to infected stumps,
These all send sparks to my tasty love pump....
Pushing your cock in the corpse of your pet dog,
Having a munch on a shit-coated hot dog,
Grinding deep heat into baby's foreskins,
These things fill my penis right up with sin.....
When your piles burst,
When your spleen hurts,
When your cunt falls out....
Simply think hard on your favourite things,
And when you come... Screeeaaam and Shoooout!
A New Contender
When you're inundated with Joey Bloody Deacon, you relish the people who can be arsed to read the rest of the site. And here he is! Craig Stevenson, man myth motherfucker, and so forth, with his dirty rotten version of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, And yes, that IS spelt right. Probably.
SuckATrampAndWankACatAndPeelTheScabsOffCorpses
Eat an elephant's bell-end, stroke the scrotes of horses
Wank upon the cancer lumps of semi-nude bag-ladies
Worship satan, suck my dad and you'll end up in Hades
Bum titty titty titty, cum in your eye,
Bum titty titty titty, cum in your eye....
The Artist Currently known as Paul Hamilton is still the bloke who sent this in, despite being a stupid girl. The tune for this one is "Edelweis". 
I've a nice,
Secret vice,
I like whips, chains and leather...
Beat me hard,
'Til I'm scarred,
Crush my testes together.
Tied to your bedpost I'll scream and howl,
While you chew my nipples,
When you're done,
I'll drink your come,
And dream of psychotic cripples.
Paul Hamilton likes his balls to be slapped during sex. It makes him go "ooo" - dirty boy. 
SO, Can you compete with Craig, Fergal, and Paul? I know I can't be bothered!
Whips And Chains, Whips and Chains,
I'm so into Pain.
  Cut my flesh and break my bones,
Oh, please don't go away.
  Tie me up, Tie me up,
Kick me in the balls, 
  My cock always gets so hard 
whenever your whip falls
  Straps and gags, straps and gags,
Beat me black and blue,
  Burn me with your ciggarette
and I will love you true
  Chicks with dicks, Chicks with dicks,
are running through my head
  Cat o' nine tails whipping me
when I go to bed
  Spikes And Cuffs, Spikes and Cuffs,
I think that I'm insane
  People tell me that so much
'cause I'm so into pain.
 

Krystal Kaous, the newer contender and bad ass dominatrix (her own words) shows a commendably sincere joy in the infliction of pain. Power to the lass.
Sin is In. Devout is Out. 
First, your email address. This will allow me to pester you with references to your mother. It will please me doubly if your mother has died recently, the circumstances tragic!

Filthen up another song with bad words. Include also a sentiment
of pure evil, such as "I like Satan" or "Moo, Moo, I'm a Devil Cow".