|
So the lads do the
singing - who writes the lyrics? That’s Jackson the Robot (with the
help of some clever humans, of course) Jackson can’t talk English, he
just makes a weird screeching sound, so it seemed like an interview was
out of the question, until his good friend Larry the Robot said that he
could translate. Go-Bots Go Botty!
| 100% |
So
you write the music, then do you? |
| Jackson |
Yes, I do.
Is that all? |
| 100% |
No. |
| Jackson |
Continue
asking me questions until you are finished. |
| 100% |
Very
well. How long does it take you to write a song? |
| Jackson |
One month
for a top 10 song. |
| 100% |
That’s
a long time for a massively powerful robot like yourself. |
| Jackson |
Most of the
time is me processing the emotions of love, which I do not have,
and working out decent metaphors for love. My favourite metaphor
for love is that love is a plant that blooms and is beautiful. |
| 100% |
But
must eventually die. |
| Jackson |
Oh, God. I
hadn’t thought of that. Oh, dear. That’s horrible. |
| 100% |
The
only certainty is death. |
| Jackson |
Well that
is true, but the plant sprays its seed so that another life may be
born. |
| 100% |
Well
yes, but in the case of dandelions, the vast majority of the seeds
fall on infertile ground, or are eaten by dogs. |
| Jackson |
I'm not
listening any more. |
| 100% |
Do
you have a soul? |
| Jackson |
I have
started listening again. |
| 100% |
Do
you have a soul? |
| Jackson |
No. I am a
robot. It is the job of the boys to put soul into my words by
doing that thing with their voices where they go up and down and
won't fucking stop. |
| 100% |
What
makes up Rhythm and Blues, then? |
| Jackson |
Mild
disappointment, religion, sexuality, irrelevance, and soulless,
clichéd lyrics. Between us, we have all five. This separation of
powers is important. If one person had all five elements, they
would be too powerful. |
| 100% |
I
see. And
quickly, one final statement.
I always lie. I never tell the
truth. |
| Jackson |
But... if
you always... how... oh, God, my head! |
Having blown up Jackson with a
mini-paradox, 100% returns to base.
|
